Dear Amber,
First off, I am so sorry…As an Aunty, I am hurting for you and your family. I cannot imagine the pain that your parents, the kids' dad and extended family and friends are experiencing. In many ways, I wish that I could ease their burden of grief, but I know that the Holy Spirit is already in control of consoling them. There is so much pain surrounding the loss of you and your twins that your first name alone is causing people to emotionally react. And I think that that is a good thing because it has triggered the nation to not only discuss your loss but also this issue of abortion through your life lens and God’s lens.
I know you did not intend for your death to be the outcome of taking pills that you were told were as safe as Tylenol. But, here we are left to deal with your loss, the loss of your beautiful twins and the loss of some spiritual integrity by people in this country who should know better. Instead of speaking the truth about the death of you and your children, many have taken to weaponizing your name and situation as if it were a tabloid sensation. All of this deflection and distraction unfortunately makes grieving your loss that much harder. Know that you deserved better.
What do I mean by loss of spiritual integrity? I listened to voices on social media, some prominent women, some journalists who blamed your death on the Georgia's anti-abortion/pro-life law. That accusation makes no earthly or spiritual sense. A law designed to keep women like you and their children from dying can be blamed for taking life? Really? By whose morality? No one called out the cruelty of the laws in North Carolina that made obtaining your abortion without a proper health evaluation “evil.” NO ONE BLAMED THE LACKADAISICAL PILL PUSHERS FOR YOUR DEATH! The enemy, who comes to STEAL, KILL and DESTROY life was never mentioned as being the perpetrator of the heinous acts. If we are not calling the attack on you and your children out as a spiritual one, it leaves each woman who walks into an abortion clinic after you vulnerable to the enemy of their souls.
And what about the culpability of the pill pushers who managed to convince vulnerable women like you that they know what is best for your life? The so-called “medical staff” that didn’t know you or care enough about you to thoroughly evaluate your situation and counsel you not to take the pills. Who were happy to take your money and send you off back home without a consultation or follow-up? When was your whole life taken into consideration before they dispensed their poison? Where is their accountability in your death? Why aren’t they being investigated for a triple homicide?
I sure wish that you had been given the option to receive help with your pregnancy from a Pregnancy Resource Center (PRC) like the fine ones in the Atlanta metropolitan area. But since abortion clinics refuse to actually help women with parenting resources, you were not told about PRC’s nor given access to their loving, caring and supportive environments. It is correct that PRC’s do not counsel towards abortion but most have post-abortion healing programs should the pain of aborting your twins have hit you later. It is unbelievably sad that what you thought was comprehensive health care from either the Georgia or North Carolina abortion clinics actually wasn’t. And you and the twins died because of the incompetence, negligence and greed of the abortion clinics and the hype by prominent men and women who say abortion is “normal women's health care.”
Amber, I pray you can receive this letter somehow. From my heart to yours, YOU AND THE TWINS DID NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED THE WAY THAT YOU WERE! You, as a mom, deserved to be heard, your situation carefully talked out and all available options covered including the consequences of each “choice." Then and only then could you have made a truly informed decision. That clearly did not happen because that NEVER happens at abortion clinics. Each and every black woman that comes after you needs to know that THEY DESERVE BETTER! I pray that every woman in their child-bearing years who reads this knows that they matter AND THEY ALSO DESERVE BETTER! Ladies, you matter to God, to those of us who actually want to help women raise their children and to the families that are left behind if the pills kill you. No one should feel that their only or best option is abortion especially at the cost of their own lives and the lives of their beautiful babies.
X this: Death is not health care.
So Amber, know this: You have many aunties that are fighting for justice for you and your twins. We believe that women deserve REAL health care by staff who ACTUALLY CARE about both the mom and the babies. Many of us want to see both mom and babies not only survive but thrive and contribute their talents and fulfill their God-given purpose. We believe that life is sacred from the womb to the tomb and believe in supporting moms through the good and the tough times of raising their kids in an environment that honors their existence. Those of us who are “Whole Life” believe in: Easy access to doulas, midwives and lactation consultants; 6 months of paid time off for moms AND dads; affordable housing options for families; safe and affordable 24 hour child-care for shift workers; subsidized community-church partnerships for comprehensive child services and low-cost or no-cost community college or trade school education for parents.
I am going to end with this Amber: To those who are OK with the death of babies at the hands of indiscriminate pill pushers and abortion butchers, beware. I had to learn the hard way that God is a long-suffering and merciful God but He is not mocked! He is giving all who are still breathing time to get on His side. He chooses life. We should seek Him while He is yet to be found and change our ways. If He did it for me, He can do it for others. It is time to repent on the issue of life.
Rest in peace dear Amber, rest in peace and may God bless your family in your absence.
Sylvia and the Arise Daughter family.
Song: “I Can Only Imagine” by Tamala Mann
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