*Trigger alert for disturbing image below*
Mother's Day is such a beautiful observance! A national witness to the miracle that is conception, pregnancy, birth and childrearing. We need to extol, confirm and yes, celebrate on more than one day a year all that Motherhood entails Sadly, the second Sunday of the month is all that we get...
However, for some odd reason, Motherhood is currently under attack in our country like never before. As some sisters and I from the Whole Life Project discussed yesterday, it seems that our increasingly narrowed focus on "I" and not "we" has elevated the childless woman above all else. Bizarre talk of being forced to carry a child; that childbirth is a dangerous and life-threatening endeavor; that being a mom means total denial of self; that career advancement and Motherhood are anathema; that being impoverished means you don't have any of the necessary tools to raise a successful child; that being single automatically means your child is headed towards incarceration.
Basically, that God himself, the maker and creator of ALL things is NOT sufficient enough of a sovereign to see our children to their planned purpose and destiny.
How did a supposedly God-loving, God-fearing country come to this place? Calling Motherhood an outlier state of being instead of the natural default for a woman? My blog is too short to cover all of the reasons but, speaking from personal experience (which is never an attempt to explain everyone's position-just my own), I simply did not TRUST God! I didn't FEAR God so therefore, I did not RESPECT God. If any of this resonates with you, can I get a good SMH! In my crisis pregnancy state I connected all of the wrong dots of doubt, worry and fear and ended up drawing an uglier picture for my future than what God wanted for me. And then, I tried my best to make my life picture look like something it was not. Without my child, my future was diminished, not enhanced...
But God! Because of His INFINITE Grace and Mercy, He has allowed me, 40 years post abortive- to not only RECLAIM my Motherhood but to help me to help others to reclaim their lost children. Hallelujah!!
But we have to go beyond that now.
We have to boldly SPEAK UP FOR MOM'S!! Being a Mom is not: a bad career choice, a forgone path to impoverishment, an eternal blight, a representation of your poor choice in sexual partners; in other words, the new scapegoat. Mothers are not to be taken outside of the town gates and sacrificed for the sins of the nation. I'd like to believe we are collectively better than this but, the current climate of outright hatred for being pregnant says otherwise. A friend recently shared a picture with me that set me back a bit if I'm honest:
If we can stop being critical (code for afraid) for just a moment, we would recognize that being a Mom is the PENULTIMATE feminist move!!! How baaaad (meaning brave) do you have to be to take responsibility for a whole other life while spearheading your own? That, my friends, is the gutsiest most trailblazing move ANY woman could take! Not just to scale the heights God has placed before you but to blaze a trail for your children. It wouldn't take more than a minute to name at LEAST 5 Mom's who fit this feminine mystique right?
I think we don't talk enough about what legacy building REALLY is. Our legacy is not an abstraction--it is a real person--who was also made in the image of God just like we are. A real person with their own purpose and place in this world, A real person with real rights and privileges that a true feminist Mommy gets to protect and defend until they can do so on their own.
My pastor preached today that the wells we dig are meant to outlast us-giving refreshment to those coming up behind us. It seems we as women have simply thrown the shovel down because we've latched onto the lie that the work of well digging is just too hard...Nobody says you have to go it alone though. Almost everything done well is done in community. Women instinctively know this. That is why Pregnancy Resource Centers were established: to help build a community of support around women who don't feel as if they can: a) trust their own network or b) maybe don't have one. If you are pregnant or think that you could be, go to Optionline.org to find your closest PRC and get the support you need for the brave and sometimes difficult journey ahead. Ditch the lie and find the truth of the beauty of Motherhood that awaits you.
If you are beyond the childbearing years, volunteer at your local PRC if you want your own support network to help other women in. If you don't yet feel equipped to work at a PRC don't worry! They have healing and training programs to prepare and support you. Send me a chat and I can help get you prepared to be the cheerleader for Motherhood that God needs us to be.
Let us become the Titus 2:4 women: "These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children." Together, we can elevate the position and person of "Mom" back to where she belongs: one to be celebrated 24/7 as God intended!
Much love! Sylvia
Poem by Sylvia Blakely: Forever My Child. A Tribute to Ellen Frances
You are:
Irreplaceable
And Irreducible
Yes inconvenient
But irrefutable
Indestructible
And indisputable
Not unremarkable
Nor immutable
unobtainable
Yet unchangeable
Yes unforgettable
No longer shame able
Inconceivable
And now unclaimable
Forever
My child