As we prepare to host Ms. Danielle Torres, Director of "My Miscarriage Matters", an online miscarriage support agency, I am reminded of just how deeply complex our reproductive histories as women actually are. Some of us have never conceived; Some have been traumatized by sexual encounters and have conceived children out of that trauma; Some have had uneventful conception and birth experiences; Some have never given birth to a child that survived; Some have chosen abortion; Some have children born with challenges; Some gave birth only to watch their child die hours or days later. There are some reading this today that have experienced two or more of these scenarios...I know I certainly have. And I've only listed the situations: Nothing has been said about the EMOTIONS attached to each situation I've listed.
I wonder how often we stop and THINK about more less TALK about how our complex histories have affected us? If we do, are we apt to compartmentalize our experiences and emotions, keeping them siloed off so as not to deal with the complexity of it all? More likely (this was me) are we walling off the negative events completely (almost like a secure bunker) making sure no one is allowed in while we go about finding other ways to cope that may not always be healthy?
I believe it is time for some cross talk about our reproductive histories. I think we, as strong capable women can handle the loving and caring discussions that can come from sharing our stories. Many feel alone or abandoned because they have not been able to express their feelings. There is healing in not only sharing but hearing from one another. If you have ever been through a healing journey surrounding reproductive grief and loss then you already understand what God can do when we share with each other. I know there are women out there who have had abortions AND miscarriages AND healthy children and are too afraid to discuss their feelings about their complicated histories.